Top Idiotic Sentences I’ve Uttered This Week

It’s Friday and I’m reflecting on all the pithy wisdom I’ve shared with my children this past week. Coming up short, I’ve instead curated a round-up of the best of my idiocy. I swear I was smarter before I had to talk to children.

1. Vaseline and mucous are different things.

2. Yes you may wear your underwear over your pull-up.

3. ASK first before throwing that at her head.

4. Would you like some medicine?

5. Stop kissing on the lips.

6. Please eat your corndog.

7. It’s 2am. Can you just pee in your diaper?

8. Don’t interrupt when Star Wars is on.

9. You don’t need an egg beater to eat a pear.

10. NO YELLING!!!

Isn't Mom hilarious? She actually thinks we'll listen to her!

Isn’t Mom hilarious? She actually thinks we’ll listen to her!

What stupid sh*t have you said to your kids this week? And did someone at least find it amusing?

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