I Want it Both Ways

I want a part-time job, with a full-time salary.
I want coffee, without the stank breath.
I want to be a hipster mom, without giving up my Jewish motherly roots.
I want everyone to eat their vegetables, without having to bribe them.
I want fresh flowers that never die.
I want to be crafty but not have to DIY.
I want a kiss from my 16 month old, without the biting.
I want to work with grown-ups but spend time with babies.
I want my kids to shoo me away at school drop-off, but hug me like I’m their whole world at pick-up.
I want chocolate that makes me lose weight.
I want my son to love his mommy, without being a mama’s boy.
I want my daughter to love to dance, without the pressure to be any good.
I want my kids to learn by doing, without having to do much more than play.
I want a night out with my husband, and be home by 8.
I want to be productive, with time for daydreaming.
I want to drink less Diet Coke, without having to drink less Diet Coke.
I want to wear black without showcasing all the baby bodily byproducts on my sleeves.
I want to be a PTA mom without the baking prerequisite.
I want to show my support without always having to show up.
I want to be fit without having to get up at 4:30 in the morning to work out.
I want to hear “Mama!” without the trill of desperation.
I want to sleep more, without missing anything.
I want to finish my to-do list but still feel purposeful.
I want to watch Star Wars with my kids but withhold all the crappy TV.
I want to come off like I know what I’m doing, but not like I know it all.
I want more children but I don’t want to spend less time with the ones I already have.
I want to spend more time with my kids, but I also want to be alone.
I want to be alone, but only for about 2 hours at a time.
I want 2 more hours with my husband, after the kids are in bed, that don’t involve dish-washing, lunch-packing, bill-paying or arguing.
I want to make the argument that I can work less, without feeling like I’ll lose part of my identity.
I want to be a role model without being perfect.

I want to know what you think about having it both ways.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “I Want it Both Ways

  1. Shannon

    Oh Liza you are so fabulous! You do come off like you know what you’re doing but not like you know it all!!

  2. I hear ya about wanting to be crafty without the DIY – keep up the great bloggin! We should have that JHts blogger roundup soon. I think I was remiss at showing up to the playground one sunday – can I still blame mamma brain if the baby is going on 2 soon?

  3. @Shannon: you are too kind, mama!
    @Paula: Yes, mama brain is a permanent genetic alteration that can only be reversed when you become a grandparent and, much to the chagrin of your kid(s), you suddenly remember EVERYthing about childrearing and repeat it ad nauseum to anyone who will listen.

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