Click the Vote!

Hi Friends!
A little shameless plug to please vote on my entry for Babble’s “Best of” blogs.  I entered into the category of BODY AFTER BABY with this post about hearing my daughter’s body being criticized, after my own lifelong struggle with body image.

Please vote here.  Thanks!
Happy Friday!

Death by Easter Eggs

Happy Easter!  And now, a candy reality check.

Please don’t give kids these:

Two great tastes that taste great together. And could cause anaphylaxis.

Some of them may then need one of these.

Campbell (2.5 years) never leaves home without this.

A public service announcement from a mom* whose son is deathly allergic to peanuts.

*me

How do YOU handle holidays centered around candy consumption in your nut allergy-riddled household?

 

I Wish I Had More Time!

No I don’t.

More time is what I THOUGHT I wanted. More time to get the pantry re-organized, squeeze another load of laundry in, do a bigger puzzle with the kids, write overdue thank you notes, revise the show budget for the network.

Turns out I just want more CONTROL over the time I have.

With my new gig as development head for a production company that’s in a nascent stage, I took a sizable pay cut. For now. I am developing a few show ideas and films and the series that was just greenlit is not yet in contract, so I’m not making very much. Yet. I knew this going in; the difference in pay from my corporate job is startling but here is what I’m getting in return:

• A CHOICE of projects.
• A forum to develop my own ideas and shepherd others’ utilizing my skills as a storyteller and an instinctive nurture.
• An office way the f*ck south of midtown, thank you (yes, that makes a HUGE difference).
• Flexibility, in the short term, with how much and where I choose to work.

In our start-up phase, it’s understood that there won’t be much money. So my new work partners are very understanding when I say: “Hey, I’ll be offsite the next two days. I can do calls before 3 if need be.” And then get some work tasks done, in between blog writing and bonus parenting that I didn’t get a chance to do while at my last job.

So today I’m scheduled to appear in Campbell’s Cupcakes Class to read “The Cat in the Hat” as part of his daycare’s monthlong celebration of Dr. Seuss’s birthday.

More Thing 2 than Cat, but still…

And I’m picking my daughter up from the bus and bringing her with me. Her kindergarten class honored the author last week.

Say “Seuss” because that will make for great mouth placement in the photo.

I actually don’t prefer working from home. I’m not as productive because I’m trying to combine work and life projects. Multi-tasking kills. It’s why it’s illegal to text and drive. And like Ron Swanson says:

“Never half-ass two things. Whole ass one thing.”

So I do make a point to get to the office for meetings and to get sh*t done. But on days when I have a captive audience of 2-year-olds for storytime, or I just need a haircut, I’m happy to be at home. I’m trying to making it count now, because I DO want to work. I DO want to be busy with projects I’m passionate about. And I DON’T want to start worrying about money.

I have 3 ½ weeks of unused vacation time that I’m being paid out from my last job. So I guess I’m kind of using it now. Going on school trips, having morning coffee with friends I don’t get to see much, not having those knock-down, drag-out tussles with myself about how to spend the fleeting minutes.

Then it’s go time. Because I really can’t see myself getting into the pantry renovation. I’m just not that girl.

What’s YOUR ideal work schedule?

Stupid Brave

I’ve quit.

That sounds negative.  Let’s try:

I have resigned.

Hmm, kind of sad.  How about:

I’ve decided to leave my job to pursue other opportunities closer to my heart.

Long-winded and dry but accurate. I’ll take it.

So yeah, just shy of 7 years, I am leaving WE tv and going freelance.
Am I doing this to spend more time with my kids?

No.

Ok, again, that sounds negative.  Do I want to spend more time with my kids? Yes! But I also want to immerse myself in engaging projects that speak to my creative and collaborative interests. I’m not even going to TALK about having it all. Nuh-uh. Not even going to try. I am going to keep failing miserably when it comes to “balance” and having the time and bandwidth to please everyone in my familial, social and professional spheres. So if I’m going to continue the haphazard integration of work and life, I might as well be working on things I love.

As Director of Production for the creative team at WE tv, which was housed under the umbrella of AMC Networks, I was tracking along nicely. I was advancing in an executive career and the pay was good. Generous vacation. So many sick days that I lost them year after year due to the fortune (?) of my good health. A friendly, supportive work environment where it was accepted that you might have to run out the door “early” at 5pm to cover childcare or other life stuff. A real human place to work. 401K and everything.

Love my work family!

But it wasn’t proving to be “THE” job, or even “THE” path I knew would make me happy. And not being happy, at work, means not being that happy at home. If I’m going to be away from my kids 50 hours a week, I need the reason to be one that fulfills me and re-ignites the passion I have for writing and producing films and series.

Well, I just lucked the f*ck out because I seem to have found it.

I may be giving up a steady salary, plannable vacation time, pre-tax contributions for dependent care and Metrocards and a bright future at a successful company, but I wasn’t really “me” there. The true self from film school whom I’d put on the shelf to some degree when I got swept up in the momentum of an upwardly mobile career and the comforts of consistency was now too restless to contain.

At work at WE tv. I will not miss the drafty ceiling.

So what will this change mean for the family? Well, my husband can’t think about leaving HIS staff job anytime soon, since we’re on his benefits. If the projects I’m developing and producing aren’t coming to fruition fast enough or aligned with enough pay, I may have to find some additional means of income in copywriting, where I started in the TV business over 15 years ago. I may have to pull my son out of daycare, where he is thriving, and find a way to work during his increasingly shorter naps.

And if, after a year, this scenario just isn’t working, I will seek out steadier employment that meets our needs as a family. It’s my responsibility as a mom and life partner. Last time I was freelance was before I got married, over 8 years ago, when I only had myself to answer to. That freedom is gone. My decision to leave a staff job came after a lot of talks with Scott, list-making and sleepless nights adding up how long we could survive on one income without it affecting our day-to-day home life.

So I’m scared, and I’m reaching way past my comfort level, but the time is right.

In one of my exit interviews, a senior executive assured me of this, and I believe it is true:
“Don’t worry about the money. You will find a way to make money. The hard part is finding a way to do the things you love, and you have found that.”

So away I go.

What chances have YOU taken and how has that affected YOUR family?

The Last Night of 2012

Just a recap of our New Year’s Eve.

And then it was 2013.

How was YOUR night?

The Convenience of Santa Claus

My stance on Santa has always been “no comment.”  Since Christmas wasn’t my holiday, my parents were pretty straight up with me about the Santa Claus charade.  But they encouraged me to play along with my non-Jewish friends until they outgrew the myth, and it was pretty big of me, I think, that I didn’t then scoff: “Told ya so.”

My Catholic husband has tried to convince me he didn’t feel let down when he learned Santa didn’t exist.  “But your parents lied to you,” I said, convinced that his distrust of politicians and Hollywood executives stemmed from this Santa infraction.  He shrugged.  “It’s just fun,” he explained.

What is fun about deliberately misleading your children?  Aren’t they devastated once they find out?

When we had kids, we wanted them to experience the holiday traditions we experienced ourselves.  Latkes, candy canes, presents.  You know…the good stuff without the beliefs.  Except, according to my partner, for the belief in Santa.

Until this year, it wasn’t really an issue.  The kids were so young, they had no expectations.  Their peers didn’t know any better.  Gifts were exchanged.  Bright and shiny and brief.  That was Christmas and Chanukah all rolled into one.  Even Yo Gabba Gabba’s Christmas episode was devoid of Santa.  And it was fine.

Now that Charlotte is five, and there are 24 other kids in her class, all with holiday truths of their own, she knows that this Santa Claus character is responsible for delivering the gifts.  And she comes home with a list of her “needs” and “wants.”

NEEDS: banana, house, sunshine, boots, shirt, a heart.  Aw.
WANTS: Walkie talkies, a teddy bear, candy and a phone.  Yeah right.

“He’s not real, though,” she tells me as we settle in to read ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.

“Then what is he?”

“He just dresses up for Christmas.  His beard isn’t real.”

So I guess she believes there is a character named Santa Claus.  But he doesn’t walk around the other 364 days of the year, doing mundane things like grocery shopping or gassing up the car in full Christmas regalia.  One day a year he dons his red suit and beard and shuttles around the globe depositing presents.  He’s not real, but on Christmas he is.

No comment.

When “Santa” came to my 2 year old’s daycare holiday party (and scared the sh*t out of my kid, literally), that didn’t really help me avoid the topic of his actual existence.  “Where’d Santa go?”  Campbell asked, after he got over his fear and accepted the little Batman racecar with which St. Nick gifted him.  Did I have the heart to tell him he called a car to take him to his next pre-school party gig and that he probably shoved his beard into a backpack between appearances?

No comment.

Yet on Christmas Eve, after I wrapped a reasonable amount of presents and labeled them FROM MOM & DAD (not from a fictional character with twinkling eyes), I found myself playing the Santa card as the kids embarked on their nightly ritual of turning the apartment upside down in a last ditch effort to procrastinate turning in.

“Are you throwing crayons? I better get Santa on the phone and let him know…”

“I need cooperation in the bath, or I’ll have to tell Santa you can’t get any presents.”

“Bed.  NOW!  Or else Santa will skip.  this.  HOUSE.”

And in the morning, when we had to wait for my husband to get out of the bathroom:
“Can’t open anything until Santa calls us and tells us it’s time.”

Waiting for Santa’s green light to let ‘em rip.

So I get it.  Santa is magical.  He gets kids to bathe, go to bed at a reasonable hour and not give any lip.  I’ll play along again.  For that one night of peace and goodwill among our kids, it’s worth it.

Santa is real, if only to give parents a little part in the magical production of Christmas.

(“Told ya so,” I hear you saying…)

What’s YOUR stance on Santa?

WTF is that Wednesday?! Prelude to the Holidays

It’s the day before Thanksgiving.  And I give thanks to Aiming Low, who published my humorous (well, if you’re on your second glass of whatever it is that makes you skippy) piece on Navigating the Holidays as a Non-Crafter.

Grab some pipe cleaners…and give them to someone who knows what to do with them this holiday season.

WTF was that LAST Wednesday?

My daughter’s 5th birthday.  That’s what.

Happy birthday to angel-for-a-day (trust me, it will never be more than that), Charlotte!

So, I didn’t get to post about anything weird I have crammed into the nether regions of my closets.

But today, I present to you THIS:

Got 1.5 year old milk?

 

Yes, that would be milk I pumped and froze back in May.  Of 2011.  It bums me out because if I had acted sooner, I could have donated it to a milk bank.  But I think, like hoarders of things without as much nutritional value, I’ve been holding on to this like I’ve holding on to the baby Campbell no longer is.  I stopped pumping when he turned one, in July 2011, though he continued to nurse til he was two.  That stopped this past summer.

And we could really use the freezer space.

What are YOU holding on to that your children have clearly outgrown?

 

 

 

Back to Work After Sandy

 

Wrote a piece earlier this week for The Jane Dough about returning to the office after last week’s storm.  It’s about recognizing there may not be a “back to normal” feeling for a while in NYC.

WTF is that Wednesday! (Friday Edition)

I had this post ready to go on Wednesday, but had to prioritize.  The aftermath of Sandy has been fierce.  People are still struggling without power, water or much contact with the world.  But I’ve been lucky, with all our amenities intact.  In between trying to work remotely, check in on those who are affected, collecting goods to donate for those who are lacking and keeping the sanity with kids who have been home all week, I wasn’t able to post this til today.

So, it’s Friday.  But these items were discovered in my underwear drawer on Wednesday:

1. Lamb’s wool (from toes shoes last worn in 1990)

2. $2 bill

3. A piece of cloth, onto which a scrap of paper with my name in sharp cursive was pinned.  I unfolded it and realized it was a challah cover my great-grandmother embroidered for me decades ago.

So, for those who are lighting candles tonight for the sabbath or simply for luminance while their power remains out, Shabbat Shalom.  Which translates to: “have a peaceful day off.”  As if.